"
CONGRESS
"How is the law made?" asked the instructor in United States history.
"Oh," replied the maiden, cheerfully, "the Senate has to ratify it;
and then the President has to--has to veto it; and then the House
of Representatives has to"--she hesitated for a moment, and knit her
pretty forehead.
"Oh, yes! I remember now," she said. "The House of Representatives has
to adjourn until the next session!"
"Has this bill been endorsed by the Prohibition party?"
"Yes."
"And met with the approval of the I.W.W. and the Bolsheviki?"
"Yes."
"And O.K.'d by Mr. Hearst?"
"Certainly."
"Then instruct Congress to pass it as another great measure restoring
the rights of the people."
CONSCIENCE
Wilson and Wilton were discussing the moralities when the first put
this question: "Well, what is conscience, anyhow?"
"Conscience," said Wilton, who prides himself upon being a bit of a
pessimist, "is the thing we always believe should bother the other
fellow."
A young fellow who was the crack sprinter of his town--somewhere in
the South--was unfortunate enough to have a very dilatory laundress.
One evening, when he was out for a practice run in his rather airy and
abbreviated track costume, he chanced to dash past the house of that
dusky lady, who at the time was a couple of weeks in arrears with his
washing.
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