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Stein, Gertrude, 1874-1946

"More Toasts"

"

"My sermon on thrift made a tremendous impression on the
congregation."
"How do you know?"
"I could tell when I counted the collection."

"Rastus, how is it you have given up going to church?" asked Pastor
Brown.
"Well, sah," replied Rastus. "it's dis way. I likes to take an active
part, an' I used to pass de collection-basket, but dey's give de job
to Brothah Green, who jest returned from ovah thai-ah."
"In recognition of his heroic service, I suppose?"
"No, sah. I reckon he got dat job in reco'nition o' his having lost
one o' his hands."

BESS--"Somebody passed a counterfeit dime on Bob a year ago, and he
hasn't been able to get rid of it since."
MAIDEN AUNT (horrified)--"What! Does that young man never go to
church, then?"

A Scotch minister in need of funds thus conveyed his intentions to his
congregation:
"Weel, friends, the kirk is urgently in need of siller, and as we have
failed to get money honestly we will have to see what a bazaar can do
for us."

It is said that the farthing was coined in response to a demand from
Scotchmen for a satisfactory coin for the collection box. It's value
is a fourth of a cent.

A minister was on his vacation in the country.


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