SEARCH
0-9 A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Prev | Current Page 152 | Next

Stein, Gertrude, 1874-1946

"More Toasts"

Eventually the collector reached Tight, but Tight
didn't make any motions like producing beautiful coin.
"Pardon me," said the collector, placing the box before Tight, "we are
taking a collection for foreign missions. Wouldn't you like to add a
little to the amount?"
"No, sir!" was the decisive rejoinder of Tight. "I never give to
foreign missions."
"Then take a little out of the box," softly responded the collector.
"The money is for the benefit of the heathen."

A church in Kansas was raising funds for a new church and the minister
was calling on members for subscriptions. One of the pillars of the
church rose and said: "I subscribe five dollars." Just at that instant
a piece of plaster fell on his head. Half stunned he mumbled "f-f-five
hundred dollars" and the minister prayed "Oh Lord, hit him again."


CONUNDRUMS

A party of young people were amusing themselves by guessing the
answers to conundrums. One of them asked, "Why is the pancake like the
sun?"
"Because it rises in der yeast and sets behind der vest," was the
answer given by a brilliant young Swede.

They were discussing that joke about getting down off an elephant.
"How do you get down?" asked the jokesmith for the fourth time.


Pages:
140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164