"
"Why don't you move into more comfortable quarters, old man?"
"I can't even pay the rent on this miserable hole."
"Well, since you don't pay rent, why not get something better?"
MRS. HOMESPUN--"What'll we contribute to the minister's
donation-party?"
FARMER HOMESPUN--"Wal, I dunno, Hannar! Taters is 'way up, pork is
'way up, fowl is 'way up--we'll save money by giving him money."
A farmer, the other day, took a plowshare to the blacksmith's to be
sharpened, and while the blacksmith worked the farmer chuckled and
bragged about a sale of hogs he had just made.
"Them hogs was only eight months old," he said, "and none too fat,
nuther; but I seen that the buyer was at his wits' end, and by skilful
jugglin' I boosted up the price on him just 300 per cent. Yes, by gum,
I got three times more for them hogs than I uster get before the war."
The plowshare being done, the farmer handed the smith 50 cents.
"Hold on," said the smith, "I charge $1.50 for that job now."
"You scandalous rascal!" yelled the farmer. "What do you mean by
treblin' your price on me? What have you done it for?"
"I've done it," said the blacksmith, "so's I'll be able to eat some of
that high-priced pork of yours this winter.
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