"Mamma," she asked, "what's to keep them from crawling up his other
arm?"
A minister, spending a holiday in the North of Ireland, was out
walking, and, feeling very thirsty, called at a farmhouse for a drink
of milk. The farmer's wife gave him a large bowl of milk, and while
he was quenching his thirst a number of pigs got round about him. The
minister noticed that the pigs were very strange in their manner, so
he said:
"My good lady, why are the pigs so excited?"
The farmer's wife replied, "Sure, it's no wonder they are excited,
sir; it's their own little bowl you are drinking out of!"
An enterprising salesman was trying to persuade a farmer to buy a
bicycle. The farmer was in town for the day, and had determined to see
everything.
"I'd rather spend my money on a cow," said he proudly.
"But think," said the salesman, "what a fool you'd look riding about
on a cow."
"Not half such a fool as I'd look trying to milk a bicycle," answered
the farmer.
"Hiram," said the farmer's wife, "what makes you say 'By gosh!' so
much and go round with a straw in your mouth?"
"I'm getting ready for them summer boarders that's comin' next week.
If some of us don't talk an' act that way, they'll think we ain't
country folks at all.
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