--_Emerson_.
How sweet and gracious, even in common speech,
Is that fine sense which men call Courtesy!
Wholesome as air and genial as the light,
Welcome in every clime as breaths of flowers--
It transmutes aliens into trusting friends,
And gives its owner passport round the globe.
--_J.T. Fields_.
COURTS
A couple of old codgers got into a quarrel and landed before the local
magistrate. The loser, turning to his opponent in a combative frame of
mind, cried: "I'll law you to the Circuit Court."
"I'm willin'," said the other.
"An' I'll law you to the Supreme Court."
"I'll be thar."
"An' I'll law to 'ell!"
"My attorney'll be there," was the calm reply.
In the course of his examination these questions were put to an old
negro who was appearing as a witness:
"What is your name?"
"Calhoun Clay, sah."
"Can you sign your name?"
"Sah?"
"I ask if you can write your name?"
"Well, no, sah. Ab nebber writes mah name. Ah dictates it, sah."
MAGISTRATE (to prisoner)--"What is your name?"
PRISONER--"S-s-sam S-s-sissons, S-s-sir."
MAGISTRATE--"Where do you live?"
PRISONER--"S-s-seventy seven S-s-surrey street. S-s-sir."
MAGISTRATE (to policeman)--"Officer, what is this man charged with?"
OFFICER--"Begorry, yer honor.
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