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Stein, Gertrude, 1874-1946

"More Toasts"


"'Are you guilty or not?' I asked.
"The black man rolled uneasily in his chair. 'Well, boss,' he finally
said, 'ain't dat the very thing we're about to try?'"

JUDGE--"Officer, what's the matter with the prisoner--tell her to stop
that crying--she's been at it fifteen minutes" (more sobs).
OFFICER--"Please, sir, I'm a'thinking she wants to be bailed out."

_See also_ Jury; Witnesses.


COURTSHIP

If he is clean and vigorous, suitable for you and quite perfect in
your opinion; if he is the man you think he is and you want him, don't
put him on a pedestal and worship him as an idol.
Be sensible. Wrap him around your little finger and get a ring on the
next.

Mother was out, and Sister Sue was putting on her best blouse, so
six-year-old Bobby had to entertain Sue's young man. As is the way
with his kind, he began to ply the unfortunate caller with questions.
"Mr. Brown," he began, "what is a popinjay?"
"Why--er--a popinjay is a--eh--vain bird."
"Are you a bird, Mr. Brown?"
"No, of course not."
"Well, that's funny. Mother said you were a popinjay, and father said
there was no doubt about your being a jay, and Sue said there didn't
seem to be much chance of your poppin', and now you say you aren't a
bird at all.


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