"
"Why don't you advertise a thousand reward and no questions asked?"
"Well, I could make good on the thousand, but I doubt my wife's
ability to fulfill the rest of that contract."
William E. Weber of the First National Bank says a woman came up to
his window the other day with a cashier's check for fifty dollars.
"What denomination," asked Mr. Weber in his pleasantest manner.
"Lutheran," replied the woman. "What are you?"
CURRENT EVENTS
MRS. BARR--"Henry, what are current events?"
MR. BARR--"Anything shocking, my dear"--_Life_.
CUSTOM
Foote, the comedian, dined one day at a country inn, and the landlord
asked how he liked his fare.
"I have dined as well as any man in England," said Foote.
"Except the mayor," cried the landlord.
"I except nobody," said he.
"But you must!" screamed the host.
"I won't!"
"You must!"
At length a petty magistrate took Foote before the mayor, who observed
that it had been customary in that town for a great number of years
always to "except the mayor," and accordingly fined him a shilling for
not conforming to ancient custom. Upon this decision, Foote paid the
shilling, at the same time observing that he thought the landlord the
greatest fool in Christendom--except the mayor.
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