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Stein, Gertrude, 1874-1946

"More Toasts"



To follow foolish precedents, and wink
With both our eyes, is easier than to think.
--_Cowper_.

Custom does often reason overrule,
And only serves for reason to the fool.
--_Rochester_.


DACHSHUNDS

An Englishman sat at a New York boarding-house table. One of the
boarders was telling a story in which a "dachshund" figured. She was
unable for a moment to think of the word.
"It was one of these--what do you call them?--one of these long German
dogs."
The Englishman dropped his fork: his face beamed. "Frankfurters!"


DAMAGES

The conversation turned to the subject of damage-suits, and this
anecdote was recalled by Senator George Sutherland, of Utah.
A man in a Western town was hurt in a railroad accident, and after
being confined to his home for several weeks he appeared on the street
walking with the aid of crutches.
"Hello, old fellow," greeted an acquaintance, rushing up to shake his
hand. "I am certainly glad to see you around again."
"Thanks," responded the injured one. "I am glad to be around again."
"I see you are hanging fast to your crutches," observed the
acquaintance. "Can't you do without them?"
"My doctor says I can," answered the injured party, "but my lawyer
says I can't.


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