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Stein, Gertrude, 1874-1946

"More Toasts"

"

"I have come here," said the angry man to the superintendent of the
street-car line, "to get justice; justice, sir. Yesterday, as my wife
was getting off one of your cars, the conductor stept on her dress and
tore a yard of frilling off the skirt."
The superintendent remained cool.
"Well, sir," he said, "I don't know that we are to blame for that.
What do you expect us to do? Get her a new dress?"
"No, sir. I do not intend to let you off so easily as that," the other
man replied gruffly. He brandished in his right hand a small piece of
silk.
"What I propose to have you do," he said, "is to match this silk."


DANCING

The minister was dining with the Fullers and he was denouncing the
new styles in dancing. Turning to the daughter of the house, he asked
sternly:
"Do you yourself, Miss Fuller, think the girls who dance these dances
are right?"
"They must be," was the answer, "because I notice the girls who don't
dance them are always left."


DAYLIGHT SAVING

"Is your husband in favor of daylight saving?"
"I think so. He stays out so much at night that I think he'd really
prefer not to use any daylight at all."

Young Hopeful, who lives in the suburbs, was very much interested in
the adjustment of the time, and on the morning when the clocks had
been set back an hour awoke his mother.


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