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Stein, Gertrude, 1874-1946

"More Toasts"

"

"What is worrying you now?"
"Oh, nothing much," replied the man who is perpetually pensive. "I
am merely trying to figure out what has become of all the daylight I
saved since we set the clocks forward."

"Jonas," ordered the farmer, "all the clocks in the house have run
down. Wish you'd hitch up and ride down to the junction and find out
what time it is."
"I ain't got a watch. Will you lend me one?"
"Watch! Watch! What d'ye want a watch fer? Write it down on a piece of
paper."


DEAD BEATS

_See_ Bills; Collecting of accounts.


DEBTS

CREDITOR--"You couldn't go around in your fine automobile if you paid
your debts."
DEBTOR--"That's so! I'm glad you look at it in the same light that I
do."

HARDUPPE--"I really must apologize for looking so shabby."
FLUBDUBB--"Oh, clothes don't make the man."
HARDUPPE--"Still, many a man owes a lot to his tailor."

"Look 'ere--I asks yer for the last time for that 'arf-dollar yer owes
me."
"Thank 'evins!--that's the end of a silly question."

A floating debt is a poor life saver.

"Yes," said the world traveler, "the Chinese make it an invariable
rule to settle all their debts on New-year's day.


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