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Stein, Gertrude, 1874-1946

"More Toasts"

"

In his first lecture in New York the visiting English writer and wit,
G.K. Chesterton, protested against prohibition and other limitations
on American freedom. He quoted the phrase from Patrick Henry's
address, "Give me liberty or give me death." Then he said:
"If Patrick Henry could arise from the dead and revisit the land of
the living and see the vast system and social organization and social
science which now controls, he would probably simplify his observation
and say: 'Give me death!'"

Democracy means not "I am as good as you are," but "you are as good as
I am."--_Theodore Parker_.


DENTISTS

"Pardon me for a moment, please," said the dentist to the victim, "but
before beginning this work I must have my drill."
"Good heavens, man!" exclaimed the patient irritably. "Can't you pull
a tooth without a rehearsal?"

Dinah had been troubled with a toothache for some time before she got
up enough courage to go to a dentist. The moment he touched her tooth
she screamed.
"What are you making such a noise for?" he demanded. "Don't you know
I'm a 'painless dentist'?"
"Well, sah," retorted Dinah, "mebbe yo' is painless, but Ah isn't."

DENTIST--"Open wider, please--wider.


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