SEARCH
0-9 A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Prev | Current Page 185 | Next

Stein, Gertrude, 1874-1946

"More Toasts"

Then she snuffles--Hark!
_"Dinnah am served!"_
--E.W.B.

"Has Bobbie been eating between meals?"
"Bobbie has no between meals."--_Life_.

A farmer who went to a large city to see the sights engaged a room
at a hotel, and before retiring asked the clerk about the hours for
dining.
"We have breakfast from six to eleven, dinner from eleven to three,
and supper from three to eight," explained the clerk.
"Wa-al, say," inquired the farmer in surprise, "what time air I goin'
ter git ter see the town?"

"Mama, I want a dark breakfast."
"Dark breakfast? What do you mean, child?"
"Why, last night you told Mary to give me a light supper, and I didn't
like it."

MOTHER (at the breakfast-table)--"You always ought to use your napkin,
Georgie."
GEORGIE--"I am usin' it, mother; I've got the dog tied to the leg of
the table with it."


DIPLOMACY

"Father," said the small boy, "what is an overt act?"
"My son, an overt act is something that either compels you to be so
rude as to fight or so polite as to pretend you didn't notice it."

"Now, sir," said the persuasive philanthropist, "we want you to be the
chairman of the big meeting which we are to hold.


Pages:
173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197