If those people next door will sell their player piano,
I'll agree to have my daughter stop taking singing lessons."
DISCHARGE
COMMANDING OFFICER--"Snathy, here is your honorable discharge, you
ought to be proud of it."
SNATHY--"Deed ah am Cap. Why in civil life when ah was discharged ah
was jest fired."
DISCIPLINE
The principal of a certain school for girls had occasion to speak
sharply to one of the pupils.
"Marion," he said, "you've neglected your work shamefully, and you
must remain with me an hour after school."
Marion shrugged her thin little shoulders. "Well," she said, "if your
wife doesn't mind it, I'm sure I don't."
In a certain public school very advanced ideas are put into practice.
No pupil is ever punished in any way, for the individuality of every
child is considered too sacred for repression.
One day, soon after her enrollment at this school, little Grace
arrived home, her face streaked with tears and her mouth covered with
blood.
"My precious! What happened?" cried her mother.
The little girl was soon pouring out her story in her mother's arms.
Sammy Gates, it appeared, had struck her and knocked out two teeth.
When Grace had been kissed, comforted, and washed, her father wanted
to know how the teacher had dealt with Sammy.
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