"She didn't do anything," said Grace.
"Well, what did she say?"
"She called Sammy up to the desk and said, 'Sammy, don't you know that
was very anti-social?'"
HUSBAND--"You'll never get that new dog of yours to mind you."
WIFE--"Oh, yes, I will.--You were just as troublesome yourself at
first."
_See also_ Children; Parents.
DISCOUNTS
SPOKESMAN OF CREDITORS--"Veil, Cohen, we've decided to accept five
cents on a tollar--cash."
COHEN, THE DEBTOR--"Cash, you say? Den, of course, I get der regular
cash discount?"--_Puck_.
DISCRETION
WILLIE--"Pa, what is discretion?"
FATHER--"Oh, that's only another name for lack of nerve, my son."
Discretion is the perfection of reason, and a guide to win all the
duties of life.--_Addison_.
DISPOSITION
"Allow me to congratulate you."
"What for?"
"Oh, for just anything--the sunshine, the blue skies, the fact that
you are up and about. Isn't that something?"
"No!"
"Then congratulate me for not having a disposition like yours."
"Have you heard my last joke?" asked the Pest, as he stopped the
Grouch on the street.
"I hope so," replied the Grouch, as he kept on traveling.
"Why is it, Bob," asked George of a very stout friend, "that you fat
fellows are always good natured?"
"We have to be," answered Bob.
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