"You see, we can't either fight or
run."
"What a cheerful woman Mrs. Smiley is!"
"Isn't she? Why, do you know, that woman can have a good time thinking
what a good time she would have if she were having it."
DISTANCES
The German officer who confiscated a map of Cripple Creek belonging
to an American traveler, and remarked that "the German Army might get
there some time," should be classed with the London banker who said
to a solicitous mother seeking to send cash to San Antonio, Texas, for
her wandering son: "We haven't any correspondent in San Antonio, but
I'll give you a draft on New York, and he can ride in and cash it any
fine afternoon."
At Sadieville, Ky., a tourist called to an old colored man: "Hey
uncle! How far is it to Lexington?"
"I don't know, suh; hit used to be 'bout twenty-five mile, but
ev'ything's gone up so I speck hit's 'bout fohty now, suh."
"Where do you live in the city--close in?"
"Fairly so--thirty minutes on foot, fifteen by motor-car, twenty-five
by street-car, and forty-five by telephone."
DIVORCE
"Binks has married again."
"I knew he didn't deserve that divorce!"
At the present terrific rate of divorce cases, we shall soon need a
new reference-book--"Who's Whose.
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