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Stein, Gertrude, 1874-1946

"More Toasts"

"

SOLICITOR (whose client is thinking of getting a divorce)--"Well,
you can get it for about twenty pounds; everything done quietly and no
publicity."
CLIENT--"And how much will the real thing cost, with lots of publicity
and everything?"

WIFE (trying to think of The Hague)--"Let's see, what is the name of
the place where so much was done toward promoting peace in the world?"
HUB--"Reno, my dear."

"And are the divorce laws so very liberal in your section?"
"Liberal? Say! They are so liberal that nobody ever heard of a woman
crying at a wedding out there."

A divorce suit would not appeal so much to a jury if it was cleaned
before it was pressed.

"What are you cutting out of the paper?"
"An item about a California man securing a divorce because his wife
went through his pockets."
"What are you going to do with it?"
"Put it in my pocket."--_Everybody's_.

"Scotsman, married, desires change."--_Weekly Paper_.
We ought to warn him that the Divorce Court is very congested just
now.

To matrimonial speedsters, divorce is just a detour.


DOCTORS

"What is your greatest wish, Doctor, now that you have successfully
passed for your degree?"
YOUNG DOCTOR--"To put 'Dr.


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