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Stein, Gertrude, 1874-1946

"More Toasts"

' before my own name, and 'Dr.' after the
name of other people."--_Life_.

"Who is your family doctor?"
"I can't tell you."
"Why not? Don't you know his name?"
"Yes. Dr. Johnson used to be our family doctor but nowadays mother
goes to an eye specialist; father to a stomach specialist; my sister
goes to a throat specialist; my brother is in the care of a lung
specialist, and I'm taking treatments from an osteopath."

A young suburban doctor whose practice was not very great sat in his
study reading away a lazy afternoon in early summer. His man servant
appeared at the door.
"Doctor, them boys is stealin' your green peaches again. Shall I chase
them away?"
The doctor looked thoughtful for a moment, then leveled his eyes at
the servant.
"No," he said.

Once an old darky visited a doctor and was given definite instructions
as to what he should do. Shaking his head he started to leave the
office, when the doctor said:
"Here, Rastus, you forgot to pay me."
"Pay yo for what, boss?"
"For my advice," replied the doctor.
"Naw, suh; naw, suh; I ain't gwine take it," and Rastus shuffled out.

M.D.--"Would you have the price if I said you needed an operation?"
MANNING--"Would you say I needed an operation if you thought I didn't
have the price?"--_Life_.


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