"What is new?"
"When I was a boy," said the gray-haired physician, who happened to
be in a reminiscent mood, "I wanted to be a soldier; but my parents
persuaded me to study medicine."
"Oh, well," rejoined the sympathetic druggist, "such is life. Many a
man with wholesale aspirations has to content himself with a retail
business."
The eminent physicians had been called in consultation. They had
retired to another room to discuss the patient's condition. In the
closet of that room a small boy had been concealed by the patient's
directions to listen to what the consultation decided and to tell the
patient who desired genuine information.
"Well, Jimmy," said the patient, when the boy came to report, "what
did they say?"
"I couldn't tell you that," said the boy. "I listened as hard as I
could, but they used such big words I couldn't remember much of it.
All I could catch was when one doctor said:
"'Well, we'll find that out at the autopsy.'"
YOUNG WOMAN (to be neighbor at dinner)--"Guess whom I met today,
doctor?"
DOCTOR--"I'm afraid I'm not a good guesser."
"You're too modest. Aren't you at the top of your
profession?"--_Life_.
DOCTOR--"My dear sir, it's a good thing you came to me when you did.
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