"Have you ever had appendicitis?" he asked.
"Well," answered the applicant, "I was operated on but I have
never felt quite sure whether it was appendicitis or professional
curiosity."
"Oh, doctor, I have sent for you, certainly; still, I must confess
that I have not the slightest faith in modern medical science."
"Well," said the doctor, "that doesn't matter in the least. You see, a
mule has no faith in the veterinary surgeon, and yet he cures him all
the same."
_A Great Difference_
A noted physician, particularly expeditious in examining and
prescribing for his patients, was sought out by an army man whom
he "polished off" in almost less than no time. As the patient was
leaving, he shook hands heartily with the doctor and said:
"I am especially glad to have met you, as I have often heard my
father, Colonel Blank, speak of you."
"What!" exclaimed the physician, "are you old Tom's son?"
"Certainly."
"My dear fellow," cried the doctor, "fling that infernal prescription
in the fire and sit down and tell me what is the matter with you."
"Father, what is a convalescent?"
"A patient who is still alive, son."
Young M.D.--"Well, Dad, I'm hanging out my shingle; can't you give me
some rules for success?"
"Always write your prescriptions illegibly and your bills very
plainly.
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