"
SHE--"Oh, very well, if you want to be considered eccentric by
everybody in our set."
"Now," said the bridegroom to the bride, when they returned from their
honeymoon trip, "let us have a clear understanding before we settle
down to married life. Are you the president or the vice-president of
the society?"
"I want to be neither president nor vice-president," she answered. "I
will be content with a subordinate position."
"What position is that, my dear?"
"Treasurer."
SHE--"When we go anywhere now we have to take the street-car. Before
our marriage you always called a taxi."
HE--"Exactly. And that's the reason we have to go in the street-car
now."
"My wife certainly makes my salary go a long way."
"So does mine--so far that none of it ever comes back."
"I'm having trouble in supporting my wife."
"You don't know what trouble is. Try not supporting her."
WILLIS--"The Highfliers are going to give up their big house this
winter."
MRS. WILLIS--"You must be mistaken. I was talking with Mrs. Highflier
only yesterday."
WILLIS--"Well. I was talking with the mortgagee only this
morning."--_Puck_.
In a certain home-missionary movement every participant was to
contribute a dollar that she had earned herself by hard work.
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