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Stein, Gertrude, 1874-1946

"More Toasts"

"


ENEMIES

Speak well of your enemies. Remember you made them.

The fine and noble way to kill a foe
Is not to kill him; you with kindness may
So change him, that he shall cease to be so;
Then he's slain.
--_Aleyn_.


ENGLISH LANGUAGE

By way of enlarging the children's vocabulary, our village
school-teacher is in the habit of giving them a certain word and
asking them to form a sentence in which that word occurs. The other
day she gave the class the word "notwithstanding." There was a pause,
and then a bright-faced youngster held up his hand.
"Well, what is your sentence, Tommy?" asked the teacher.
"Father wore his trousers out, but notwithstanding."

TILDA--"Pass the 'lasses."
LIZZIE (who has attended school)--"Don't say ''lasses.' Say molasses."
TILDA--"How come I say mo' 'lasses when I ain't had none yet?"

_Jailless Crimes_
Killing time.
Hanging pictures.
Stealing bases.
Shooting the chutes.
Choking off a speaker.
Running over a new song.
Smothering a laugh.
Setting fire to a heart.
Knifing a performance.
Murdering the English language.--_Judge_.

"Now, boys," said the schoolmaster, "I want you to bear in mind that
the word 'stan' at the end of a word means 'the place of.


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