Merwin.
"It would aid me in transacting this sale," said the Chinaman, "if you
would confine your language to your mother tongue. The coat is seven
dollars."
Mr. Merwin took it.
Grace's uncle met her on the street one spring day and asked her
whether she was going out with a picnic party from her school.
"No," replied his eight-year-old niece, "I ain't going."
"My dear," said the uncle, "you must not say, 'I ain't going.' You
must say, 'I am not going.'" And he proceeded to give her a little
lesson in grammar: "'You are not going. He is not going. We are not
going. You are not going. They are not going.' Now, can you say all
that?"
"Sure I can," responded Grace quite heartily. "There ain't nobody
going."--_Harper's_.
"What is the plural of man, Willie?" asked the teacher of a small
pupil.
"Men," answered Willie.
"And, the plural of child?"
"Twins," was the unexpected reply.
A colored woman one day visited the court-house in a Tennessee town
and said to the judge:
"Is you-all the reperbate judge?"
"I am the judge of probate, mammy."
"I'se come to you-all 'cause I'se in trubble. Mah man--he's done
died detested and I'se got t'ree little infidels so I'se cum to be
appointed der execootioner.
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