SEARCH
0-9 A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Prev | Current Page 233 | Next

Stein, Gertrude, 1874-1946

"More Toasts"

"


ENGLISHMEN

At a dinner in New York an Englishman heard for the first time and,
probably after due explanation, was much amused by that "toasted"
chestnut:
"Here's to the happiest hours of my life,
"Spent in the arms of another man's wife:
"My mother."
Shortly after his return to England he was present at a banquet,
and thought he would get off the New York toast he had considered so
clever. At the proper time he rose and said:
"Here's to the happiest hours of my life,
"Spent in the arms of another man's wife:
"Spent in the arms of another man's wife--
"Another man's wife. Excuse me, I really cawn't recall the lady's
name, but it doesn't matter."


ENTHUSIASM

A Soldier of color, recently "over there," had proposed to, and been
accepted by his dusky sweetheart. During the marriage ceremony he
showed such signs of nervousness that the minister, noticing it,
whispered to him, in a voice which could have been heard half a mile:
"What's de mattah wif you Rastus, is yo dun los' yo' ring or sumpin?"
"N-no sah, Mr. Preacher," answered the ex-hero, "but I sho nuff dun
los' mah 'thusiasm."

If a man lacks enthusiasm it takes him twice as long to accomplish a
task.


Pages:
221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245