"You do me credit, Jack--you do me credit!"
EXAMINATIONS
PROF--"A fool can ask more questions than a wise man can answer."
STUDE--"No wonder so many of us flunk in our exams!"
EXCUSES
In a Canadian camp somewhere in England a second George Washington has
been found. He, in company with several others, had been granted four
days' leave, and, as usual, wired for extension. But no hackneyed
excuse was his. In fact, it was so original that it has been framed
and now hangs in a prominent spot in the battalion orderly-room. It
ran as follows:
"Nobody dead, nobody ill; still going strong, having a good time, and
got plenty of money. Please grant extension."
And he got it!
FIRST OFFICER--"Did you get that fellow's number?"
SECOND OFFICER--"No; he was going too fast."
FIRST OFFICER--"Say, that was a fine-looking dame in the car."
SECOND OFFICER--"Wasn't she?"--_Puck_.
TED--"Pity the rain spoiled the game today."
NED--"But you got a check didn't you?"
TED--"Yes, but to get off I had to use up the best excuse I ever had
in my life."--_Judge_.
Johnny B----, who has seen eight summers go by, not very long ago
developed a fondness for playing hooky from school.
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