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Stein, Gertrude, 1874-1946

"More Toasts"

"

It is so easy to find fault that self-respecting persons ought to be
ashamed to waste their energies in that way.

It only takes a few minutes to find in others the faults we can't
discover in ourselves in a lifetime.

A widely known Highland drover sold a horse to an Englishman.
A few days afterward the buyer returned to him.
"You said that horse had no faults."
"Well, no mair had he."
"He's nearly blind!" said the indignant Englishman.
"Why, mon, that's no' his fau't--that's his misfortune."


FEES

_See_ Tips.


FICTION

The husband was seeing his beloved wife off for a holiday. "Maggie,
dear," he said, "hadn't you better take some fiction with you to while
away the time?"
"Oh, no, George," she said, "you'll be sending me some letters."


FIGHTING

"Brudder Perkins, yo' been fightin', I heah," said the colored
minister.
"Yaas, Ah wuz."
"Doan yo' 'membeh whut de good book sez 'bout turnin' de odder cheek?"
"Yaas, pahson, but he hit me on mah nose, an' I'se only got one."

"Why do you look so sorrowful, Dennis?" asked one man of another.
"I just hear-r-d wan man call another man a liar, and the man that
was called a liar said the other man would have to apologize, or there
would be a fight.


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