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Stein, Gertrude, 1874-1946

"More Toasts"



The man who had made a huge fortune was speaking a few words to a
number of students at a business class. Of course, the main theme of
his address was himself.
"All my success in life, all my tremendous financial prestige," he
said proudly, "I owe to one thing alone--pluck, pluck, pluck!"
He made an impressive pause here but the effect was ruined by one
student, who asked impressively:
"Yes, sir; but how are we to find the right people to pluck?"

A young New Haven man, returning home from a health trip to Colorado,
told his father about buying a silver mine for $3,000. "I knew they'd
rope you in!" exclaimed the old man. "So you were ass enough to buy a
humbug mine."
"Yes, but I didn't lose anything. I formed a company, and sold half
the stock to a Connecticut man for $7,000."
"Y-you did," gasped the old man as he turned white, "I'll bet I'm the
one who bought it."
"I know you are," coolly observed the young man as he crossed his legs
and tried to appear very much at home.


FISH

The teacher asked, "Who can tell me what an oyster is?"
A small hand, gesticulating violently, shot up into the air, and a
shrill voice called out. "I know; I can tell, teacher!"
"Well, Bobby," said the teacher, "you may tell us what an oyster is.


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