"I wish I had some copper-toed
ones like yours."
A gentleman who discovered that he was standing on a lady's train had
the presence of mind to remark:
"Tho I may not have the power to draw an angel from the skies, I have
pinned one to the earth." The lady excused him.
"Sir," said the angry woman, "I understand you said I had a face that
would stop a street-car in the middle of the block."
"Yes, that's what I said," calmly answered the mere man.
"It takes an unusually handsome face to induce a motorman to make a
stop like that."
FOOD
DINER--"See here, where are those oysters I ordered on the half
shell?"
WAITER--"Don't get impatient, sah. We're dreffle short on shells; but
you're next, sah."
During a particularly nasty dust-storm at one of the camps a recruit
ventured to seek shelter in the sacred precincts of the cook's domain.
After a time he broke an awkward silence by saying to the cook:
"If you'd put the lid on that camp-kettle you would not get so much of
the dust in your soup."
The irate cook glared at the intruder, and then broke out: "See here,
me lad. Your business is to serve your country."
"Yes," interrupted the recruit, "but not to eat it.
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