"
It was a small cafe and the customer overheard this from the waiter:
"Don't throw that toast into the alley, chef. I gotta customer for a
club sandwich."
WAITER--"And will you take the macaroni au gratin, sir?"
OFFICER--"No macaroni-by gad! It's too doocid difficult to mobilize."
The second course of the table d'hote was being served.
"What is this leathery stuff?" demanded the diner.
"That, sir, is filet of sole," replied the waiter.
"Take it away," said the diner, "and see if you can't get me a nice,
tender piece from the upper part of the boot."
The new boarder sniffed at the contents of his coffee-cup and set it
down.
"Well," queried the landlady in a peevish tone, "have you anything to
say against the coffee?"
"Not a word," he answered. "I never speak ill of the absent."
An attendant entered carrying a thin red object.
"Did any patient order a postage stamp?"
"Maybe," said one feebly, "that's my mutton chop rare."
"Are caterpillars good to eat?" asked little Tommy at the dinner
table.
"No," said his father; "what makes you ask a question like that while
we are eating?"
"You had one on your lettuce, but it's gone now," replied Tommy.
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