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Stein, Gertrude, 1874-1946

"More Toasts"

Edward Tufft_.

It is admittedly difficult to recover a lost flivver. But the best
suggestion comes from our own Mrs. Eckstrom, who advises an ad.:
"Lizzie, come home; all is forgiven."

"Why are school-teachers like Ford cars?"
"Because they give the most service for the least money."--_Life_.

"Yes, indeed," argues the Ford salesman, "this little car is a great
investment. You put a few dollars into a Ford and right away it runs
into thousands."

A flivver in Newton, Kan., broke the arms of four persons who
attempted to crank it in less than a week. That's what comes of
crossing a bicycle with a mule.

Lew McCall says that motorists who come through Columbus en route for
Kansas City have about the following conversations when they stop at
the filling station here:
If it's a Cadillac, the driver says: "How far is it to Kansas City?"
"One hundred forty miles," is the reply. "Gimme twenty gallons of
gas and a gallon of oil," says the driver. Then comes a Buick and the
chauffeur says: "How far is it to Kansas City?" "One hundred forty
miles." "Gimme ten gallons of gas and a half-gallon of oil." and he
drives on. Along comes a flivver and the driver uncranks himself,
gets out and stretches, and asks: "How far is it to Kansas City?"
"Oh, about one hundred forty miles.


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