"Where are you speaking from?"
TEACHER--"And what was Nelson's farewell address?"
BRIGHT BOY--"Heaven, ma'am."
At the grave of the departed the old darky pastor stood, hat in hand.
Looking into the abyss he delivered himself of the funeral oration.
"Samuel Johnson," he said sorrowfully, "you is gone. An' we hopes you
is gone where we 'specks you ain't."
POST--"A man can die but once."
PARKER--"Once used to be enough, until these psychic experts got
busy."
A French biologist declares that by a freezing process, somewhat
similar to that used in preserving fish, the span of human life can
be indefinitely extended. By going into cold storage here, we can
postpone a hot time hereafter.
"Well, Bill," asked a neighbor. "Hear the boss has had a fever? How's
his temperature today?"
The hired man scratched his head and decided not to commit himself.
"'Tain't fer me to say," he replied. "He died last night."
A park orator returning home flushed with his oratorical efforts, and
also from other causes, found a mild curate seated opposite in the
tram-car. "It may interest you to know," he said truculently, "that I
don't believe in the existence of a 'eaven." The curate merely nodded,
and went on reading his newspaper.
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