"
"Oh, it is, is it?" said Pat. "Well, thin, whin I say 'foive,' it is a
sign that you are going to get hit on the nose. 'Foive.'"
"What do you think is the most difficult thing for a beginner to learn
about golf?"
"To keep from talking about it all the time."
The golfer who was employing him was playing very badly, and the
caddie threw himself down on the grass at one point and watched him.
When the man had at last succeeded in getting his ball out of the
bunker, he glanced toward the boy and remarked: "You must be tired,
lying down at this time of day."
"I ain't tired of carrying," said the caddie, "but I certainly am
tired of counting."
"What is considered a good score on these links?"
"Well, sir," replied the youthful caddie solemnly, "most of the gents
tries to do it in as few strokes as they can, but it gin'r'lly takes
some more."
"Look, grandpaw, a new gowf ba' I foond, lost on the links."
"Are ye sure it was lost, Sandy?"
"Oo, ay; I saw the mannie an' his caddy lookin' for it."
_Reflections of a Class A Caddie_
One swallow does not make a golfer--it only helps.
You may chip, you may wallop the ball if you will,
But the slash of the duffer will cling round it still.
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