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Stein, Gertrude, 1874-1946

"More Toasts"

Thus, her denial of a rumor that she was engaged:
"There is not a word of truth in it, but thank God for the report!"

"You did me a favor ten years ago," said the stranger, "and I have
never forgotten it."
"Ah," replied the good man with a grateful expression on his face,
"and you have come back to repay me?"
"Not exactly," replied the stranger. "I've just got into town and need
another favor, and I thought of you right away."

"Thankful? What have I to be thankful for? I can't pay my bills."
"Then, man alive, be thankful you are not one of your creditors."


GUARANTEES

"Say," said the man as he entered the clothing-store. "I bought this
suit here less than two weeks ago, and it is rusty-looking already."
"Well," replied the clothing-dealer, "I guaranteed it to wear like
iron, didn't I?"


HABIT

Before becoming a hotel clerk he had worked in a grocery store.
"Is Judge David Poggenburg stopping here?" asked an impressive-looking
stranger approaching the desk.
"No," replied the clerk with his most winning manner, "but--er--we
have something else just as good."

He was engaged to the daughter of a literary man. He was bold as a
wooer, but the veriest coward when it came to approaching the fair
one's father.


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