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Stein, Gertrude, 1874-1946

"More Toasts"

"

Some time ago, when a local corps was reviewed by Sir Ian Hamilton,
one officer was mounted on a horse that had previously distinguished
itself in a bakery business. Somebody recognized the horse, and
shouted, "Baker!" The horse promptly stopped dead, and nothing could
urge it on.
The situation was getting painful when the officer was struck with a
brilliant idea, and remarked, "Not today, thank you." The procession
then moved on.

"This makes the fourth time I have had to punish you this week,
Sylvester," chided the teacher. "Do you wonder why?"
"Nope!" replied Skinny Smith. "You've got the habit, that's all."


HADES

_See_ Future life.


HAPPINESS

"Happiness is merely a state of mind," quoted the Parlor Philosopher.
"If you mean happiness is imaginary I quite agree with you," replied
the Mere Man. "Just watch a fellow enjoying his fifty-cent cigar, when
he knows very well it's really the old five-center he used to scorn."

Keep happy when the weather's fair,
Hum with the cheerful throng;
Be glad that God has let you share
The joys of sun and song.
Keep happy when the weather's wet
The sun may hide to-day;
But back of the clouds, I'll bet,
He's smiling, anyway!
--_Luke McLuke_.


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