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Stein, Gertrude, 1874-1946

"More Toasts"

"
"Dear Jane, I enclose a check," wrote John in reply; "but please don't
buy any more hotels at this price--they are robbing you!"

A traveler who alighted from the train in a small Southern town was
greeted by a colored porter, who shouted at him, "Palace hotel, boss!"
and grabbed the traveler's baggage, and the latter said, "Wait a
minute, Rastus. Is this hotel American or European?" and Rastus
replied, "I dunno, boss, but I thinks they'se Irish."

"Where's that hotel that used to advertise, 'All the Comforts of Home
for One Dollar'?"
"Busted up. The hotel opposite put up a sign: 'None of the Discomforts
of Home for Two Dollars.'"

Miss Muffit had recently joined the "Band of Sisters for Befriending
Burglars" and was being shown over a prison for the first time.
One prisoner, evidently a man of education, interested her more
than the others. He rose and bowed to her when she entered his cell,
apologizing for the poorness of his apartment.
Miss Muffit could not help wondering how this refined man came within
the clutches of the law. In fact, as she was leaving his cell she
said:
"May I ask you why you are in this distressing place?"
"Madam," he replied, "I am here for robbery at a seaside hotel!"
"How very interesting!" said Miss Muffit.


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