"
SHE--"I wonder why men lie so?"
HE--"Because their wives are so inquisitive."
HUBBY--"I don't believe in parading my virtues."
WIFE--"You couldn't, anyway. It takes quite a number to make a
parade."
"Why do you feed every tramp who comes along? They never do any work
for you."
"No," said his wife, "but it is quite a satisfaction to me to see a
man eat a meal without finding fault with the cooking."
The husband arrived home much later than usual "from the office." He
took off his boots and stole into the bedroom. His wife began to stir.
Quickly the panic-stricken man went to the cradle of his first-born
and began to rock it vigorously.
"What are you doing there, Robert?" queried his wife.
"I've been sitting here for nearly two hours trying to get this baby
to sleep," he growled.
"Why, Robert, I've got him here in bed with me," replied his wife.
A teacher was trying to explain the dangers of overwork to one of the
smaller pupils.
"Now, Tommy," she pursued, "if your father were busy all day and said
he would have to go back to the office at night, what would he be
doing?"
"That's what ma wants to know."
HE--"If I were to die you'd never get another husband like me.
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