"--_The
Nation_.
A zealous excise officer was sent to Ireland to try to locate several
"moonshine" stills which were known to exist.
Meeting a native the excise officer approached Pat, saying:
"I'll give you five shillings, Pat, if you can take me to a private
still."
"Troth, an' I will sir," was Pat's reply, as he pocketed the money.
"Come with me."
For many weary miles over mountain, bog, and moor they tramped, until
they came into view of a barracks. Pointing to a soldier seated on a
step inside the square, Pat said:
"There you are, sir, my brother Mike; he's been a soldier for ten
years, an' he's a private still."
An English clergyman turned to a Scotchman and asked him: "What would
you be were you not a Scot?"
The Scotchman said: "Why, an Englishman, of course!"
Then the clergyman turned to a gentleman from Ireland and asked him:
"And what would you be were you not an Irishman?"
The man thought a moment and said: "I'd be ashamed of meself!"
Two sailors, an Irishman and a Scotchman, could never agree, and the
rest of the crew had become adepts in starting them on an argument.
One day "patron saints" was the subject, of which the Scotchman knew
nothing and the Irishman just a little.
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