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Stein, Gertrude, 1874-1946

"More Toasts"


It passed indeed for wit,
Did this achievement rare,
When down your friend would sit,
To steal away his chair.
You brought him to the floor,
You bruised him black and blue,
And this would cause a roar,
When your old joke was new.
--_W.M. Thackeray_.


JOURNALISM

"I represent The Daily Scoop, At what time did his lordship die?"
"His Lordship is not yet dead."
"Oh, isn't he? Well, then I'll wait."

FIRST WAR-CORRESPONDENT--"Did your dispatch get past the censor?"
SECOND WAR-CORRESPONDENT--"Only the part that wasn't true."
"Well, isn't that all your paper wants?"--Life.

"Getting out a daily column is no picnic," confesses a daily
getter-out in the Niles Sun-Star. "If we print jokes, folks say we
are silly--if we don't, they say we are too serious. If we publish
original matter, they say we lack variety; if we publish things from
other papers, they say we are too lazy to write. If we stay in the
office, we ought to be out rustling news; if we rustle for news, we
are not attending to business in the office. If we wear old clothes,
we are insolvents; if we wear new clothes, they are not paid for. What
in thunder is a poor editor to do anyhow? Like as not someone will say
we swiped this from an exchange.


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