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Stein, Gertrude, 1874-1946

"More Toasts"

We did."

_See also_ Newspapers.


JUDGES

Judge Ben B. Lindsey of Denver, was lunching one day--it was a very
hot day--when a politician paused beside his table "Judge," said he,
"I see you're drinking coffee. That's a heating drink. In this weather
you want to drink iced drinks, Judge--sharp iced drinks. Did you ever
try gin and ginger ale?"
"No," said the Judge, smiling, "but I have tried several fellows who
have."

Unfortunately we've mislaid the judge's name, but his courtroom is
in New Bedford, Mass. Before him appeared a defendant who, hoping for
leniency, pleaded, "Judge, I'm down and out."
Whereupon said the wise Judge:
"You're down, but you're not out. Six months."

The late Gilman Marston, of New Hampshire, was arguing a complicated
case, and looked up authorities back to Julius Caesar. At the end of
an hour and a half, in the most intricate part of his plea, he was
pained to see what looked like inattention. It was as he had feared.
The judge was unable to appreciate the nice points of his argument.
"Your Honor," he said, "I beg your pardon; but do you follow me?"
"I have so far," answered the judge, shifting wearily about in his
chair, "but I'll say frankly that if I thought I could find my way
back, I'd quit right here.


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