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Stein, Gertrude, 1874-1946

"More Toasts"

"

THE COURT--"Considering that you are the wife of the prisoner, do you
think you are qualified to act as a juror in this case?"
THE LADY--"Well, your honor, if you will only give me a chance, I
think I can convince the eleven other jurors that he's guilty."

A tailor who had been wrongfully accused of murder, and who had an
excellent defense, seemed very dejected when brought up for trial.
"What's the trouble?" whispered the counsel, observing his client's
distress as he surveyed the jurymen.
"It looks very bad for me," said the defendant, "unless some steps
are taken to dismiss that jury and get in a new lot. There isn't a man
among them but owes me money for clothes."


JUSTICE

There is no virtue so truly great and Godlike as justice.--_Addison_.

A Sunday-school teacher had been telling her class of little boys
about crowns of glory and heavenly rewards for good people.
"Now, tell me," she said, at the close of the lesson, "who will get
the biggest crown?"
There was silence for a minute or two, then a bright little chap piped
out:
"Him wot's got t' biggest 'ead."


KINDNESS

I think I know what kindness is tonight.
It is a woman standing by a light.


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