SEARCH
0-9 A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Prev | Current Page 365 | Next

Stein, Gertrude, 1874-1946

"More Toasts"

'"


LAUNDRY

"Did the laundry man find those cuffs he lost last week?"
"No, John."
"The shirts are no good to me without the cuffs."
"Evidently he figured it that way, too. This week he lost the shirts."


LAWS

The good need fear no law;
It is his safety, and the bad man's awe.
--_Massinger_.

"Your case would have been stronger, Mr. McGuire," said the lawyer,
"if you had acted only on the defensive. But you struck first. If you
had let him strike you first you would have had the law on your side."
"Yes," said McGuire. "Oi'd have had the law on my soide, but Oi'd have
had him on me stomach."

Congressman Hull, of Iowa, sent free seeds to a constituent in a
franked envelop, on the corner of which were the usual words, "Penalty
for private use, $300." A few days later he received a letter which
read:
"I don't know what to do about those garden-seeds you sent me. I
notice it is $300 fine for private use. I don't want to use them for
the public. I want to plant them in my private garden. I can't afford
to pay $300 for the privilege. Won't you see if you can't fix it so I
can use them privately? I am a law-abiding citizen, and do not want to
commit any crime.


Pages:
353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360 361 362 363 364 365 366 367 368 369 370 371 372 373 374 375 376 377