"
LAWYERS
LAWYER--"Are you aware, sir, that what you contemplate is illegal?"
CLIENT--"Certainly. What do you suppose I came to consult you for?"
An Atlanta lawyer tells of a newly qualified judge in one of the
towns of the South who was trying one of his first criminal cases. The
prisoner was an old negro charged with robbing a hen-coop. He had been
in court before on a similar charge and was then acquitted.
"Well Henry," observed the Judge, "I see you're in trouble again."
"Yessuh," replied the negro. "De las' time, Jedge, you rec'lect, you
was mah lawyuh."
"Where is your lawyer this time?"
"I ain't got no lawyer dis time," said Henry. "Ah's gwine to tell de
troof."
"Pa, what is a retainer?"
"What you pay a lawyer before he does any work for you, my son."
"Oh, I see. It's like the quarter you put in the gas-meter before you
get any gas."
After a young lawyer had talked nearly five hours to a jury, who felt
like lynching him, his opponent, a grizzled old veteran, arose, looked
sweetly at the judge, and said:
"Your honor, I will follow the example of my young friend who has just
finished, and submit the case without argument."--_Life_.
A Chicago business man, with many relatives, some of whom were
well-to-do but grasping, recently sought the services of his lawyer to
draw up his will.
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