"
"I couldn't serve as a juror, judge. One look at that fellow convinces
me he's guilty."
"Sh-h! That's the district attorney."
LITTLE WILLIE--"What is a lawyer, pa?"
PA--"A lawyer, my son, is a man who induces two other men to strip for
a fight, and then runs off with their clothes."
The following is told of a late railway magnate and a prominent
Philadelphia lawyer.
Said the magnate to the lawyer--"I want you to show that this law is
unconstitutional. Do you think that you can manage it?"
"Easily," answered the lawyer.
"Well, go ahead and get familiar with the case."
"I'm already at home in it. I know my ground perfectly. It's the same
law you had me prove was constitutional two years ago."
"Are you sure you can prove my client is crazy?"
"Why, certainly," replied the eminent alienist. "And what is more, if
you are ever in trouble and need my services I'll do the same thing
for you."
The lawyer was endeavoring to pump some free advice out of the doctor.
"Which side is it best to lie on, Doc?"
"The side that pays you the retainer."
An attorney in Dublin having died exceedingly poor, a shilling
subscription was set on foot to pay the expenses of his funeral.
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