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Stein, Gertrude, 1874-1946

"More Toasts"

" The number of hens to be
seen nowadays standing about doing nothing is certainly a scandal.

An American teacher undertook the task of convincing an indolent
native son of the Philippines that it was his duty to get out and
hustle.
"But why should I work?" inquired the guileless Filipino.
"In order to make money," declared the thrifty teacher.
"But what do I want with money?" persisted the brown brother.
"Why, when you get plenty of money you will be independent and will
not have to work any more," replied the teacher.
"I don't have to work now," said the native--and the teacher gave it
up in disgust.

FIRST COCKY (on horseback)--"That cove ye've had wurrkin' for yer
arsked me fur a job this mornin'. Was he a steady chap Ryan?"
SECOND COCKY--"He was. If he'd ha' bin inny stiddier he'd ha' bin
motionless."

"What sort of a chap is Bill to camp out with?"
"He's one of those fellows who always takes down a mandolin about the
time it's up to somebody to get busy with the frying pan."

A camera man who had ventured without permission to take some pictures
on a farm for the educational department of a film company was met
unexpectedly by the owner of the farm and hastened to explain his
presence there.


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