"Hold up your right hand," said the judge. Up went Pat's left hand.
"Hold up your right hand," commanded the judge, sternly.
"Sure and I am, yer honor," declared Pat. "Me right hand's on me
left-hand side."
LEGISLATION
"Have you made any resolutions or turned over a new leaf or anything
like that?"
"No," replied the man with the serene smile. "No need of them. If I
have any lingering vices I feel that I need only wait for somebody to
introduce legislation that will make them impossible."
LEGISLATORS
"Do you think we are happier for the conveniences of telegraph and
telephone?"
"Not always," replied Senator Sorghum. "It would be a great comfort
to be able to make a speech that exactly agrees with your audience
without its being placed immediately before people all over the
country who may not feel the same way about it."
"Senator, you promised me a job."
"But there are no jobs."
"I need a job, Senator."
"Well, I'll ask for a commission to investigate as to why there are no
jobs and you can get a job on that."
LEISURE
THE CHILD--"Mother, what is 'leisure'?"
THE MOTHER--"It's the spare time a woman has in which she can do some
other kind of work, dearie.
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