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Stein, Gertrude, 1874-1946

"More Toasts"

"


LIARS

The teacher was telling her class a long, highly embellished story
of Santa Claus, and the mirth of Willie Jones eventually got entirely
beyond his control.
"Willie," said the teacher sternly, "what did I whip you for
yesterday?"
"Fer lyin'," promptly answered Willie; "an' I was jest wonderin' who
was goin' to whip you."

He who tells a lie is not sensible how great a task he undertakes, for
he must be forced to invent twenty more to maintain one.--_Pope_.

A Boston minister once noticed a crowd of urchins clustered around a
dog of doubtful pedigree.
"What are you doing, my little men?" he asked, with fatherly interest.
"Swappin' lies," volunteered one of the boys. "The feller that tells
the biggest one gets the purp."
"Shocking!" exclaimed the minister. "Why, when I was your age I never
thought of telling an untruth."
"Youse win," chorused the urchins. "The dog's yours, mister."

A man may tell the same lie about the same thing to the same man seven
times seven, and be accounted truthful. Let him vary in but the merest
detail and he is a liar. Such is the patent gullibility of a too
conscientious world.

An evangelist who was conducting services announced that on the
following evening he would speak on the subject of "Liars.


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