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Stein, Gertrude, 1874-1946

"More Toasts"


"Please, miss," was the reply, "it says in the text-books the
population of London is very dense."

"Hiram writes that the first day he was in London he lost L12."
"Great Caesar's ghost! Ain't they got any health laws in that town?"


LOST AND FOUND

OLD GENTLEMAN (in street car)--"Has anyone here dropped a roll of
bills, with a rubber elastic around them?"
"Yes, I have!" cried a dozen at once.
OLD GENTLEMAN (calmly)--"Well, I've just picked up the elastic."

"Cohn, I've lost my pocketbook."
"Have you looked by your pockets?"
"Sure, all but der left-hand hip pocket."
"Vell, vy don't you look in dot?"
"Because if it ain't dere I'll drop dead!"

The following exchange of courtesy was recently chronicled in a German
paper's advertisements:
"The gentleman who found a brown purse, containing a sum of money, in
the Blumenstrasse, is requested to forward it to the address of the
loser, as he is recognized."
A couple of days later appeared the response, which, altho courteous,
had an elusive air, to say the least:
"The recognized gentleman who picked up a brown purse in the
Blumenstrasse requests the loser to call at his house at a convenient
day.


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