A married woman said to her husband: "You have never taken me to the
cemetery."
"No, dear," replied he; "that is a pleasure I have yet in
anticipation."
A man of perhaps 55, wearing a rough peajacket, showing glimpses of
a soiled pink silk shirt, with a rubber collar, approached and in
confiding tones asked for a book for a "widow past 50 who is thinking
of getting married." The assistant proceeded to inquire as to what
kind of a story he thought she might like. "Oh," he said, "what I want
is a story that will kind o' cheer her up."
_See also_ Domestic finance; Husbands; Leap year.
MASCOTS
"Does a rabbit's foot really bring good luck?"
"I should say so. My wife felt one in my money pocket once and thought
it was a mouse."
MATHEMATICS
_See_ Arithmetic.
MATRIMONY
_See_ Marriage.
MEASURING INSTRUMENTS
A two-foot rule was given to a laborer in a Clyde boat-yard to measure
an iron plate. The laborer not being well up in the use of the rule,
after spending considerable time, returned.
"Now, Mick," asked the plater, "what size is the plate?"
"Well," replied Mick, with a grin of satisfaction, "it's the length
of your rule and two thumbs over, with this piece of brick and
the breadth of my hand and my arm from here to there, bar a
finger.
Pages:
390
391
392
393
394
395
396
397
398
399
400
401
402
403
404
405
406
407
408
409
410
411
412
413
414