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Stein, Gertrude, 1874-1946

"More Toasts"

"--_T. W. Higginson_.

Mother is the name of God in the lips and hearts of little
children.--_Thackeray_.


MOTHERS' DAY

These "days" for doing things that you ought to do any day are getting
so numerous as to lead to curious ethical conflicts. A boy in Sabetha,
Kansas, was taken to task for missing Sunday school one Sunday. "I
wanted to come," he said, "but Sunday was Mothers' Day and mother
wanted me to go fishing with her, so I went."


MOTHERS-IN-LAW

The lady bather had got into a hole and she couldn't swim. Nor could
the young man on the end of the pier; but when she came up for the
first time and he caught sight of her face, he could shriek, and he
did. He shrieked:
"Help!"
A burly fisherman sauntered to his side.
"Wot's up?" he asked.
"There!" hoarsely cried the young man. "My wife! Drowning! I can't
swim! A hundred dollars for you if you can save her."
In a moment the burly fisherman was in the sea. In another he was
out of it, with the rescued lady bather. Thanking his lucky stars, he
approached the young man again.
"Well, what about the hundred bones?" he asked.
But if the young man's face had been ashen gray before, now it was
dead white, as he gazed upon the features of the recovered dame.


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