"
"I see New York did considerable begging for one of those reserve
banks."
"What of it?"
"Oh, nothing, New York used to dictate."
CUBIST TEACHER--"Can anyone give an impressionistic definition of New
York?"
BRIGHT PUPIL--"A small body of limousines almost entirely surrounded
by Fords."
FIRST SOUTHERNER--"Were you in New York long enough to feel at home?"
SECOND SOUTHERNER--"Yes, sir; why, I got so I could keep my seat in
the cars with a lady standing and not even think about it."
An Ohio newspaper editor spent a few days in New York, and while there
somebody asked him how he liked the big town.
"I care for it very little," replied the editor. "Did you ever think
of this: Suppose you lived in New York and wanted to go fishing. Where
would you go to dig a can of worms?"
"I hear you want a room clerk."
"No, we never have any rooms. What we want is a clerk who can satisfy
people in assigning them to billiard tables, telephone booths and cots
in the halls."
The surging crowd along Broadway
Was stirred so strangely yesterday.
It stood on tiptoe, eyes aglow,
It stared, and turned to whisper low
Of wonders such as seldom pass
That way.
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